When someone is into you, it’s obvious. You won’t see Bae on their cell phone often, because quality time with you matters in their eyes. When you send a text message or call, a response is given in a timely manner as opposed to hours going by without a word. You’ve met her close friends, and know quite a bit about her family. Basic things aren’t a secret, such as what she does for a living, or whether or not she lives alone.
You also have signs and actions that show when she (or he) is NOT very emotionally invested. Below are 12 Signs the person you’re dating isn’t into you. Every single item may not apply to your dating situation, and if it does that doesn’t necessarily mean the person isn’t into you. However, if you’re noticing a few of the things do apply, then there’s a good chance you may need to move on…
12. You Initiate Most Conversations
If you didn’t text or call your Boo, would you have any contact? Are you always the one to coordinate schedules and make plans together? How about you try not doing that for several days, and see what happens. Silence = Disinterest.
11. Plans Are Often Cancelled
Your dates are frequently cancelled, and it’s typically last minute. Why? Something, or someone better came along–wanting to snuggle with her dog, go on a date with someone she really likes, hang with friends–and chillin’ with you is never on the top of her list.
10. Holidays are Spent Apart
So, you both have been dating for 6+ months and he’s met your entire family. They added him on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. Your cousin even has plans to go to a basketball game with him soon. But, you haven’t met his family or been invited to join him on a holiday trip. In my opinion, you gotta either move on asap, or have the tough conversation.
9. You Rarely Go Out in Public Together
You have a great time together in your apartment or their crib. So much laughter and fun! It’s just… you always have food delivered, or watch a movie at home.
That’s because you’re probably only fuck buddies, and nothing more.
8. Haven’t Met Their Close Friends
Meeting close friends typically happens soon. Maybe the person doesn’t have many friends (which is rare). I would bring this up relatively soon by asking, “What are your friends like.” Be chill about it until you find out if s/he has close friends. If you find out they do, there’s a problem.
7. Their Online Dating Profiles Are Still Up
Do I really need to say anything about this? It’s such a terrible feeling when your friend tells you, “I was on Tinder and saw that girl you’ve been dating for a few months.”
6. Avoidance of the Exclusivity Talk
The exclusivity talk should happen naturally and not be forced. So, if you’re finding that whenever you bring up wanting to be exclusive and the response is whack, put a pause on things. That basically means your Boo isn’t ready, or isn’t that into you. Time will tell which one it is…
5. Physical Intimacy Rarely Happens
When it comes to dating, physical touch and intimacy shouldn’t be controlled by one person. I’ll never forget this one time someone I was dating for a few months got into bed and I took off my clothes. I thought it was sexy time! She basically shut it down, and went to sleep. I should have known she wasn’t that into me!
4. You Wait Hours for A Response
Does it consistently take hours for you to get a response, and it’s not due to an emergency or work related? Maybe you always get an excuse, “Sorry, I left my phone at home.” You have two choices: stop seeing that person, or communicate your need for a quicker response.
3. Daily Routine is Unknown
So, you’ve been dating Kelly for 3 months and you have no idea what she does after a typical work day, or how she spends her weekends. She never calls you during her one hour drive to work, or when she gets home. This is a major red flag, y’all. There’s no reason this should be happening. When this happens, the other person is making a calculated choice to keep you at a distance. Maybe they are dating others, or have another life. Who knows! I suggest running away as soon as you can.
2. Friends Take Priority
Look, I totally support when a woman has friends and love it because that means more time to myself. However, when a woman routinely chooses to spend time with her friends over go out with me, there’s a problem. I’m not talking about a friend who flew in from Ireland to spend time with Bae after not seeing her for a decade. That’s totally fine and dandy, y’all. But, when she’s always wanting to hang out with Kelly from down the street because Timmy broke up with her for the 100th time, go kick rocks. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
1. Always on Their Phone
I’m pretty sure we all know this feeling. You’re spending time with your honey, maybe watching a movie or going out to eat, and all they keep doing is playing on their phone. Or, maybe s/he isn’t on it constantly, but picks that thang up as soon as a sound goes off. What does this action say? You’re not a priority, and I prefer giving others my attention over spending quality time with you.
Typically, I put my phone on silent when I am spending time with a lover, and even friends or family. You may not think this is a big deal because most people are on their phone often. Let me make it clear: IT’S A BIG FUCKING DEAL.
I recently came out of retirement and went on a date. She never picked up her cell phone, and I thought that was very sweet. I knew she was into me! If you’re dating someone who doe this, politely ask for what you want: “Can you please put your phone away when we’re spending time together?” If the response isn’t what you want to hear, you know what to do. CUT IT.
Do any of these 12 signs sound familiar? If so, don’t panic. In some cases, this doesn’t necessarily mean the person you’re dating isn’t into you. However, most of the time is does. How do I know?
Been there, done that.