Tinder Chronicles: I’m Just A Girl Looking for A Lesbian

It’s getting really bad, folks, and I’m not joking. The last time I encountered an actual lesbian on Tinder was last year. Now, that wouldn’t be concerning if I didn’t use the dating app frequently, but I do. At this point, whenever I match with a woman, I assume she isn’t gay.

When I first started using dating apps around 6 years ago, I never had this issue. It was easy for me to find lesbians because you had to actually fill out a profile and give details about yourself. There was no swiping left or right at that time.

Tinder blog

Just to let y’all know how bad it is, let’s go over the last 3 conversations I had on Tinder.

Tinder Conversation #1

Me: “Hey there. How is your day, Cassandra?”

Cassandra: “Hi hun. Happy its Friday and you?”

Me: “I hate to be rude, but I find myself needing to ask this question on here: Are you gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual, etc.?”

Cassandra: “Lol. I was going to warn you pretty soon that I don’t identify as a lesbian. But I guess if I had to choose I am bisexual. The warning only because you put it in your profile.

#FML

Tinder Conversation #2

Stacy: “Hey. How long have you lived in Hollywood?”

Me: “Years. I eventually want to get a place in Studio City but, yeah, I’m not rich.”

Stacy: “Haha. Yeah LA is expensive.”

Me: “Hey so I mean no offense when I ask: Are you heterosexual, gay, or bisexual?”

Stacy: “Truly bi. No offense taken.”

#NoHope

Tinder Conversation #3

Tanya: “Hiiii honey, how are you?”

Me: “I’m good. How are you?”

Tanya: “I am good. Hunting for my new chick on Tinder.”

Me: “Hope you find her! Why only 1 picture? Usually spam accounts only have one.”

Tanya: “I don’t wanna show myself to all.”

Me: “Okay. So are you gay or straight?”

Tanya: “I am bisexual.”

#GirlBye

These conversations are all real, and wildly frustrating. Look, I don’t mind if a woman identifies as bisexual, heterosexual, etc. What annoys me are two things: I clearly state in my profile I’m only looking for a lesbian yet I constantly get contacted by non-lesbians, and these dating apps don’t provide enough filters to accurately match people with decent dating prospects.

I’m just a girl looking for another lesbian on Tinder. Have any tips? Write them in the comments section!

-The Retired Lesbian