About Me

I’m The Retired Lesbian. I’ve been dating women since I was a teenager, and now live in Cat Lady City.


So, what made me write this blog? There are two answers that come to mind: My frustration with dating women, and also hearing the sad yet funny dating woes of my friends. There’s a new trend that’s emerging; many people are silently giving up on love, and most don’t even realize it. For example, I often hear these statements from my heterosexual and gay friends who are between the ages of 24-65:

“I’m better off dating my vibrator.”

“I’d rather chill with my dog than date an actual person.”

“Video games or date a woman? I’ll take video games.”

“Relationships are overrated.” 

“If I could date a man’s penis and not him, that would be perfect.”

“I want to get married, but I’m sick of getting my heart broken.” 

None of my friends would say they have given up on finding a love match, but their actions say that–refusing to go out on a date with anyone, rarely going out, not having sex, etc. I’m definitely right there with them. I call myself The Retired Lesbian because, for now, I’m taking a break from dating women. Could I come out of retirement? Of course. For now, my vagina and I spend most of our evenings working, or hanging out with my dog.

My goal in writing this blog is to entertain, and also motivate you. I hope you can relate to my stories, and also find ways to achieve success on the dating scene. I believe in True Love, and know we all have a perfect match out there in the Universe.

If you would like to contact me, please click here.